Is Love pain or pleasure?(1)
Emotions has been on a perennial move sending notifications to my mind to maximize it’s juices secreted inside of me.
Which gives me a reminder of my transcension from that growing lad to a growing man.
But shackled by the experience of others I wouldn’t want to be unhappy because of any unpleasantness that may emanate from relationship;so I got my feelings and emotions tediously subdued. For me this wasn’t fear of the unexpected as I personally decided not to fall prey to Love’s snare. Yes a snare I called it, because from my observations I could tell love leaves you in its confinement with your right mind as a sorrounding guard.
For me a lover does many unthinkable things because his mind and normal sense of reasoning is locked outside the bars of Love’s confinement.
I was already 24 and in my penultimate at college but I couldn’t see any need to share my living with a girlfriend; No girl is ever worth it (so I always said to myself).
It was clear that experience had monopolized my thinking to seeing love as a pain giver and that many who see it as a pain killer were just been unrealistic. It wasn’t my fault I would say because I could remember back then in high school how Georgia dropped it on Kenny because she saw him smiling while talking to Linda a classmate. Georgia pointed that Kenny was hitting on Linda. It all ended without taking any explanations as she saw any of it as Kenny’s way to get on with her. I remembered how I tried so hard to stop the tears flowing down Kenny’s cheek, it was as if he had lost his mum but clearly it was worth it because as young as we were we had already concluded that they two would marry each other but Georgia dropped it. Yes it was a heartbreak and that was the end of it. What a pain?
I also remembered how my first college buddy kevwe got his emotions humbled and thoughts tamed by his fledged Dora who claimed that my buddy was much of a nerd and unromantic.
Romance! I never considered it as anything serious for our age then not until my friend got dumped for it. Another pain.
It wasn’t all of the ladies’ work, the guys also had it with them. My reading partner Christy got heartbroken because according to her, her boyfriend said their relationship was too boring and that he would want both of them to move on. It was clear from what Christy said that her boyfriend was tired of the relationship and he would want to explore.
All of these got me perfectly walled against emotional influences. I had turn down dates from attractive ladies seeking my attention, torn letters without giving any reply and got friendships with the opposite sex sour as soon as I had any sense of eroticism.
I wasn’t religious about this attitude, neither was I doing all of these for morals but to me it is of no need putting myself through dejection (outcome of broken relationship) when I could have lived a happy person. But was I happy?
I took it all joy to be alone than to be happily engaged just to be heartbroken at the end of it all.
So I stopped the flow of my juices, became impenetrable, and made myself so resistant to the punches of feelings and emotional approaches. As a matter of fact,I felt entitled and crowned as the one guy who was incompliant with any emotional navigations.
All of these proved well-groomed and going until Elisa surfaced. Who is she?
Elisa is a student of the department of human kinetics.
HOW WE FIRST MET.
It was a usual morning for me as I was jogging back to my hostel, I had my earphones plugged with increased volume and was by the other part of the road when I came across this lady who was on the floor in need of help. She had a cramp while jogging and it was serious as whenever she attempts standing up, the pain hits her down to the floor. I could hardly hear anything but I saw how she waved me with desperate gestures.
She got my attention, drew close straight to the outstretched foot without even considering looking at her face. I didn’ care.
I helped her, got the leg relaxed and later decided to help at least to her hostel gate where someone else would help her to her room as no one was allowed to go through the opposite sex hostel except for official purposes.
I had decided to get her number to check up on her just to know how she’s feeling.
With no other intentions apart from from being concerned about the recuperation of her injured foot. It was when I offered my phone to her so she could type her number, I discovered how I didn’t realized I had been close to an embodiment of beauty.
Average height, dark complexioned, slim. My spec; Yes I had a spec but was not ready for it yet. I gaped with deep stare as she typed her number. It was when she said hello I gained consciousness of my lost self. Hope no problem, she said without waiting to get any response I’m Elisa department of human kinetics and you? She asked with a smile. Francis medical laboratory science I responded. She hugged me and whispered thank you. I was stiff but just to break the silence as i walk away, I’ll call you I said.
I was supposed to jog back to my hostel but I was surprised to walk down to my hostel so quickly as I didn’t get enough time to ruminate on what just transpired.
SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED.
It was about 80mins ago since I came back from class, seated with my phone in hands trying to call Elisa but seems so difficult. If I hadn’t been attracted, calling her wouldn’t be a problem but as it stands I had another reason inside me competing with just asking about her injured foot. I was trying to frame up what to tell after asking about her foot. Something that could prompt my seeing her again. So I was not too sure if she would like it about me trying to instigate a date. A Date, yes though I hadn’t forgotten about my code against emotions yet I see myself going deep even when I tried stopping myself.
After that day, we have maintained a time especially on phone where we ask about each other, sometimes we even met and discussed about our likes, dislikes and hobbies. But all of these wasn’t the ultimate as it stands as I imagined and created pictures of me having her , I even dreamt of her and most times these dreams ended with us being together. While I tried to hold myself it was evident that Elisa had arrowed the impenetrable me and brought all resistant codes down to pieces like the Jericho wall. I was in LOVE.
Made the hit, she accepted, she felt me like I do feel her so we were in it (LOVE)…
To be continued….