Is love pain or pleasure?

Is Love pain or pleasure?(1)
Emotions has been on a perennial move sending notifications to my mind to maximize it’s juices secreted inside of me.
Which gives me a reminder of my transcension from that growing lad to a growing man.
But shackled by the experience of others I wouldn’t want to be unhappy because of any unpleasantness that may emanate from relationship;so I got my feelings and emotions tediously subdued. For me this wasn’t fear of the unexpected as I personally decided not to fall prey to Love’s snare. Yes a snare I called it, because from my observations I could tell love leaves you in its confinement with your right mind as a sorrounding guard.
For me a lover does many unthinkable things because his mind and normal sense of reasoning is locked outside the bars of Love’s confinement.
I was already 24 and in my penultimate at college but I couldn’t see any need to share my living with a girlfriend; No girl is ever worth it (so I always said to myself).
It was clear that experience had monopolized my thinking to seeing love as a pain giver and that many who see it as a pain killer were just been unrealistic. It wasn’t my fault I would say because I could remember back then in high school how Georgia dropped it on Kenny because she saw him smiling while talking to Linda a classmate. Georgia pointed that Kenny was hitting on Linda. It all ended without taking any explanations as she saw any of it as Kenny’s way to get on with her. I remembered how I tried so hard to stop the tears flowing down Kenny’s cheek, it was as if he had lost his mum but clearly it was worth it because as young as we were we had already concluded that they two would marry each other but Georgia dropped it. Yes it was a heartbreak and that was the end of it. What a pain?
I also remembered how my first college buddy kevwe got his emotions humbled and thoughts tamed by his fledged Dora who claimed that my buddy was much of a nerd and unromantic.
Romance! I never considered it as anything serious for our age then not until my friend got dumped for it. Another pain.
It wasn’t all of the ladies’ work, the guys also had it with them. My reading partner Christy got heartbroken because according to her, her boyfriend said their relationship was too boring and that he would want both of them to move on. It was clear from what Christy said that her boyfriend was tired of the relationship and he would want to explore.
All of these got me perfectly walled against emotional influences. I had turn down dates from attractive ladies seeking my attention, torn letters without giving any reply and got friendships with the opposite sex sour as soon as I had any sense of eroticism.
I wasn’t religious about this attitude, neither was I doing all of these for morals but to me it is of no need putting myself through dejection (outcome of broken relationship) when I could have lived a happy person. But was I happy?

I took it all joy to be alone than to be happily engaged just to be heartbroken at the end of it all.
ELISA SURFACED.
So I stopped the flow of my juices, became impenetrable, and made myself so resistant to the punches of feelings and emotional approaches. As a matter of fact,I felt entitled and crowned as the one guy who was incompliant with any emotional navigations.
All of these proved well-groomed and going until Elisa surfaced. Who is she?
Elisa is a student of the department of human kinetics.
HOW WE FIRST MET.
It was a usual morning for me as I was jogging back to my hostel, I had my earphones plugged with increased volume and was by the other part of the road when I came across this lady who was on the floor in need of help. She had a cramp while jogging and it was serious as whenever she attempts standing up, the pain hits her down to the floor. I could hardly hear anything but I saw how she waved me with desperate gestures.
She got my attention, drew close straight to the outstretched foot without even considering looking at her face. I didn’ care.
I helped her, got the leg relaxed and later decided to help at least to her hostel gate where someone else would help her to her room as no one was allowed to go through the opposite sex hostel except for official purposes.
I had decided to get her number to check up on her just to know how she’s feeling.
With no other intentions apart from from being concerned about the recuperation of her injured foot. It was when I offered my phone to her so she could type her number, I discovered how I didn’t realized I had been close to an embodiment of beauty.
Average height, dark complexioned, slim. My spec; Yes I had a spec but was not ready for it yet. I gaped with deep stare as she typed her number. It was when she said hello I gained consciousness of my lost self. Hope no problem, she said without waiting to get any response I’m Elisa department of human kinetics and you? She asked with a smile. Francis medical laboratory science I responded. She hugged me and whispered thank you. I was stiff but just to break the silence as i walk away, I’ll call you I said.
I was supposed to jog back to my hostel but I was surprised to walk down to my hostel so quickly as I didn’t get enough time to ruminate on what just transpired.
SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED.
It was about 80mins ago since I came back from class, seated with my phone in hands trying to call Elisa but seems so difficult. If I hadn’t been attracted, calling her wouldn’t be a problem but as it stands I had another reason inside me competing with just asking about her injured foot. I was trying to frame up what to tell after asking about her foot. Something that could prompt my seeing her again. So I was not too sure if she would like it about me trying to instigate a date. A Date, yes though I hadn’t forgotten about my code against emotions yet I see myself going deep even when I tried stopping myself.

After that day, we have maintained a time especially on phone where we ask about each other, sometimes we even met and discussed about our likes, dislikes and hobbies. But all of these wasn’t the ultimate as it stands as I imagined and created pictures of me having her , I even dreamt of her and most times these dreams ended with us being together. While I tried to hold myself it was evident that Elisa had arrowed the impenetrable me and brought all resistant codes down to pieces like the Jericho wall. I was in LOVE.
Made the hit, she accepted, she felt me like I do feel her so we were in it (LOVE)…

To be continued….

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HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND STILL LOVES YOU.
Most theories of relationships focus on how intimate partners feel about each other, especially for guys who may be thinking of spending their lifetime with their partner (girlfriend) or even perhaps take their relationship to the next level as some of them do say.Accordingly, for you as a guy who is thinking of taking this step but looking for answers and obvious signs to check the wellbeing of your relationship or clear the “how do I know my girl still loves me” question roaming inside you and have decided to focus on outward signs to test the health of yours. This approach follows from the assumption that observable actions provide, in many cases, harder evidence about what’s going on inside a person than the inferences we make from what he or she says.

I’ve taken time to to theorize along with information from other supporting relationship experiences, eleven clues you can use in your own daily life to gauge the depth of your lover’s feelings:

1.Wants to spend time with you: Wanting to invest time in your relationship is a key indicator of successful long-term intimacy, according to recent experiences and testimonials. Although both of you may be tied up with work, family, and other commitments, someone who truly cares about you will use whatever time is left over to have some time together alone. At some points, she becomes the subject of your leisure. She will always derive joy and pleasure spending time with you and not as a mere commitment or a necessary obligation. She finds it nothing much to include spending time with you to her basic schedule. This she does without complain or any iota of regret.

2.About your day: During those times you spend together, your girlfriend will ask about, and show interest in, the high and low points of your work day. Lovers build their love for each other not necessarily on the ethereal, but on the practical supports that keep communication routes open. Shewill always want to know how you spent the parts of your day she doesn’t know about, not just because of the fear of insecurities but because she wants to show her concern, express her feelings as well as give her contributions to making the outcome of your day a good one subsequently. This also helps in consolidating her trust in you.
3.Trust you: A girlfriend who really care about you will give you the benefit of the doubt. Research shows that in successful long-term relationships, partners want to have a sense of knowing where their mates are at any given time. However, they don’t have this wish because of worry that their partners might be up to something nefarious. A partner who doesn’t question where you are if you come home late or doesn’t snoop through your cell phone bills is showing the kind of trust that indicates true caring. Loving girlfriend will always dismiss words without from anybody as a toxic intrusion into her relationship because of the level of trust she has for her lover. She keeps trusting without thinking of any disappointment from you.
4.Helps you when you need it: As busy as we all get, adding extra chores or duties to your day may be the last thing you feel like doing. However, if your partner is a technophobe, and you’re techno-savvy, you’ll help out when something goes wrong with your home Wi-Fi network. Similarly, if you absolutely need something from the drug store and are too sick to go there yourself, a partner who cares about you will run a rescue mission and get you that cold medicine.
5.Shows respect for your views:If recent research on complementarity in relationships is true, it’s possible for you and your partner to be on completely opposite poles of the political spectrum and still remain happy together for years. The key feature is not what your beliefs are, though, but how open she can be to accepting your partner’s perspective as valid. Let’s say you’re an ardent feminist and your partner holds pre-1970s views about women. If he truly cares about you, he’ll at least listen to you when you express concern about women’s status in the workplace. She isn’t going to fully support or allow your views to override hers but she should be able to pick out substance from your view about a the subject. This goes a long way to “tell if a girl really loves you”.

Is love pain or pleasure?

Is Love pain or pleasure?(1)Emotions has been on a perennial move sending notifications to my mind to maximize it’s juices secreted inside of me.Which gives me a reminder of my transcension from that growing lad to a growing man.But shackled by the experience of others I wouldn’t want to be unhappy because of any unpleasantness … Continue reading Is love pain or pleasure?

My blog post samples

HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND STILL LOVES YOU.Most theories of relationships focus on how intimate partners feel about each other, especially for guys who may be thinking of spending their lifetime with their partner (girlfriend) or even perhaps take their relationship to the next level as some of them do say.Accordingly, for you as … Continue reading My blog post samples

6.Includes you in decisions: partners decide on everything from mundane chores to high-stakes questions of where (and how) to invest their income. It’s fine and probably advisable for each person to specialize in some tasks needed to keep the household going, but at some point you need to feel that your views will still be sought (and heard). Of course, decisions are taken in relationship but the key feature here is that such decision should be made with the approval of your partner. For a lady it tells the guy how loving and considerate you are.
7.Shows affection: Couples don’t have to engage in frequent sex, or even any sex at all, to be emotionally intimate. However, showing some sign of physical closeness, even if it’s resting a hand on your shoulder, suggests that your partner feels a vital connection to you. Affection is a virtue that cannot be pretended. A girl who truly loves you will definitely show her affection to you in areas where it is needed. Affection is not just an obligation but an attraction that bings two persons who are in love together. What affects one affects you two, she is infact, anxious always to know what bothers you not because you put up of a frowned face but because she can’t just be happy as the source of her Joy is ill-affected.
8.Looks at you: The nonverbal cues that partners share with each other reveal their deeper feelings. If your partner looks at you while you’re talking, or if you catch her darting a glance your way, this suggests that she takes pleasure in being with you. When you strike a point during a conversation that involves other people, she looks at you to confirm its her love those words streamed from.Moreso, during a conversationshe looks at you with a smileready to get those pleasant words of yours. The two of you don’t need to spend hours gazing into each other’s eyes; even a quick glance can be enough to send positive, love-confirming vibes.
9.Likes to talk about the past: Partners who spend time reliving their enjoyable moments from the past, and do so in a positive and supportive way, can strengthen their ties in the present and future. If your girlfriendbuses phrases such as “Remember the time we…?” and then proceeds to tell a great story from your past (which you might not even recall), it suggests that you and your partner shared experiences that play an important role in your her mind. She loves you and would only want such pleasant experiences to continue as it spices the relationship and as well keeps her love flames burning.
10.Is willing to go to bat for you and your relationship: Does your girlfriend defend you when someone else criticizes you or does she join in the fray? We certainly know from great literature that people who truly care about each other will risk their own well-being for the other’s welfare. Partners in more ordinary relationships can still show their love for each other by bonding together against outside attacks. In a study of lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals in close relationships, San Francisco Research and testimonials have it that many who felt stigmatized because of their relationships drew strength from each other and felt that they bonded more closely in the face of adversity.

11.you feel good about yourself: A partner who truly cares about you boosts your self-esteem and sense of identity. If nothing else, being with someone who makes you feel valued provides you with strong positive reinforcement. We want to be with people who make us feel good. This doesn’t mean that you’ll always have wonderful days and nights in which you never quibble or become frustrated and annoyed with each other. However, overall, if you feel that your partner boosts your self-confidence, you’ll not only be more likely to want to spend time together, but you’ll also regard yourself more positively at the times when you are apart.
There’s no set number of these Eleven that would indicate whether a specific partner hits above or below the threshold for truly loving you. However, with these signs as a guide, you can gain insight into your relationship’s strengths and weaknesses and from there, address the areas of weakness. At the same time, if you want your partner to feel truly loved, ask yourself honestly how you would rate on these eleven indicators. Perhaps it’s time for you not only to count the ways that makes you sceptical about her love for you but the ways that you show your love to her.